A Blast from the Past

April 28, 2024

Cathy and I step from the gangway in Virenna. A blast of steam rises from the water line as the crew bleeds the boiler and the fog horn bellows a deep, long moan. I feel like we are in a Meryl Streep movie where the mysterious aristocratic woman, ready for high adventure, steps from the gangway to a dock teaming with the locals, accompanied by her faithful manservant who is not nearly as confident of their undertaking.

Call me Sabu.

The boat is a relic of a dark chapter in Italian history. In 1926, a Nazi shipbuilder named Ordera laid the keel of the 53 meter paddle steamer and called it “28 Ottobre.” Catchy huh? Apparently, Ordera wanted to suck up to ol’ Benito and chose the date of Il Duche’s so called “March on Rome” for a name. Students of history will remind you the “March” wasn’t no much a march as a skip, Typical Fascist. All goose step, but a little light in the loafers.

Thankfully, our boat’s ugly name, like the ugly Il Duche himself, were not long for the world and . . . a fresh coat of paint later . . . she was christened The Concordia. She’s been plying the waters of Lake Como for almost a century.

She is an elegant boat with sleek lines, a wheelhouse with a brass “all ahead full” engine control, a shoulder high oak steering wheel, a deck with twin cowl vents aside a raked smoke stack, and round life preservers hung on the railings.

The giant, brushed steel, steam driven crankshaft is open to view as you enter the lower deck, and the rhythmic beat of the machinery takes you back to when men made big things.

Cathy loves this stuff.

Mind you, she and I are not the first glitterati to sail on the Concordia. George Clooney once booked the whole boat to impress his girlfriend Elisabetta Canalis. This was of course long before Amal. (I know about such things.)

Verena is the poor step sister to Belaggio. Both are charming, but Verrena has less of a tude.

It also has one thing not to be found on this side of the world. Wanna know what?

A cypress tree.

I know . . . I know . . . what’s with the cypress tree thing? (Trust me, I’ve asked this myself . . . many times . . . silently.)

Let me explain.

We’re not talking your typical Italian Cypress. Pleeeeease. Those are a dime a dozen in this country. No, we’re talking what Rick Steve’s refers to on page 242 of his guide to Italy . . . the “rare California Cypress.” It’s true. The California Cypress is actually on the endangered species list. And one of the few surviving ones is in Varenna.

Who knew?

So, we set off. My job, as always, is navigation, documenting the expedition with cheesy photo ops, and scrounging for sustenance and hydration from the local natives. This is . ; . not to wear out my nautical theme . . . right in my wheelhouse.