September 15, 2025
“Can we go up top?”
The young lady in charge of our whale watching excursion boat didn’t quite know what to make of the woman in the stylish new ski cap and purple vest. We had just shoved off and she was shutting the door to the cabin.
“Not yet, ma’am,” she said patiently. “We need to get out to the feeding grounds first.”
Apparently, she had dealt with the your over eager type before.
So, we sat in the back row, on the isle, and prepared to throw elbows and check into the bulkhead any one of these sassy Aussies who dared to go topside in front of us.
Note to you boys downunder who have not met my wife. A couple things to keep in mind for your personal safety. First, should you be walking down the street toward us, and should you have made the unfortunate mistake to walk two abreast on a single file path…god help you if you’re three abreast…keep in mind that Cathy does not care which side of the road you drive on in Perth. If one or more of your party is on our side, the right side, she will not yield the right of way and will, instead, lower a shoulder and take you out.
Situational awareness my friend. She extends it toward others and demands it in return.
Second thing to know. Cathy is a firm believer in “better to ask for forgiveness than beg for permission.” If for example, a stairway on the cruise ship appears to be for the crew only, but someone has neglected to hang the chain reading “CREW ONLY” now dangling on one railing, she will proceed until told “proceed no further.”
This stands in stark contrast to my own firm “Maybe We Shouldn’t?” policy and can sometimes lead to a wee bit of consternation.
Take, for example, the matter of blankies.
You’ve probably been on a cruise yourself or seen in the movies where the ship provides wool plaid blankets for those passengers enjoying a brisk day on deck in a groovy teak deck chair. In our case, the good folks at Q Nard stacked loads of blankets rolled into handy bed rolls outside, next to the chairs.
Cathy thought a couple of these might be handy on our personal balcony outside Cabin 6074. I suggested…respectfully I might add…that they were probably for use where stacked and, as they think of everything here at Q Nard, and none were issued inside our cabin, and as we hadn’t seen anyone with a rolled blankie under their arm returning to their own stateroom, we “probably shouldn’t” take two back to 6074.
Now, lest you think I was pure of thought, I was not. I suggested that we pilfer the blankies, but at night, under cover of darkness, when there might be less chance of detection and apprehension. I even offered to fetch two that night. I thought this approach rather galant as, should something go wrong, only I would be sent to the brig.
Cathy gave this some thought and concluded that I was thinking too much. And so…
Anyway…where was I? …Oh yeah…being first to score the best spot up top on the HMS Whale Watching Guppy.
We had three objectives: (1) to track down the elusive Orca, (2) to catch a glimpse of a humpback whale, and (3) to spot a brown bear emerge from the forest at a sufficient distance so as not to tempt him to swim out and have us for dinner.
A choice spot on the second deck was vital to all three prongs of our mission.
A tall order, I’ll grant you. Especially since the good folks at Huna Totem HQ do not equip their boats with fish finders and rely entirely on the 19th century whaling technique of “Hay, there goes one!”
Still, we were hopeful as we had seen dorsal fins cruising in the waters in front of the cannery about an hour before as we snacked on chicken tenders and a diet Pepsi for lunch. (Don’t judge.)
Admittedly, that sighting was suspect as I was still in shock after my brush with death at the bottom of the Zip Line. But I have photographic evidence.
“We ask that this photograph taken from shore be marked as Exhibit H your Honor, and admitted into evidence.”
So off we sped and, no sooner than the Skipper cut the engine, did we scamper up the stairs and to take the best positions before the rest of the gang cleared their seats.
We looked.
And we looked.
And we looked.
And then, they appeared. We actually heard them before we saw them. The sound of an orca spouting is distinctive and oddly familiar.
I know what you’re thinking. Right about now you’re thinking, “Wait a minute, Jackson! Just how did you get this photo if that’s you in the boat shadowing the Orca?
That’s because that boat isn’t us. That’s our sister boat which joined us on the 2:00 search. We were in a contest with her on who would “drift” the closest to the them (This is apparently illegal as statute prohibits one from boating within 100′ of the shy fellas) .
“Shy” might not be the right word. Fun fact you may have read about yourself in the papers recently:
“Interactions between orcas and boats have increased significantly in recent years with hundreds of incidents reported and several boats sunk since 2020. While the number of encounters may be declining from its 2022 peak, the behavior is still a significant and unusual problem for mariners.“
This news was on my mind as our onboard junior naturalist explained that the Orcas, while appearing smaller, were almost the same length and almost the same weight as our whale watching boat.
Gulp.
Thankfully, this new fun behavior was limited to an Iberian Orca Chapter off the coast of Spain, and was further limited to sailboats. Still, it occurred to me, as we diligently scanned the waters, that the whale word was likely spreading and marching orders might have already reached the Alaskan Orca Chapter.
By now, it was getting late. The Captain at the mother ship had told us all that he would set sail for open water no later than 5:30, and it was now 4:30. But our young whale watching crew desperately wanted us to see some humpbacks and a radio call came in from other whale watchers that a pod of humpbacks was spotted out in the Icy Strait.
Punch it, skipper. Off to the Icy Strait we raced.
Our time was short. The folks on deck began to mumble worries about missing the mother ship’s departure. Did these kids know our deadline? How long would it take to get back? Maybe it would be best not to push it and leave it for another day.
5:10.
5:15
5:20.
And then, as if on cue, at the last possible moment…Not in the distance, but right next to…I mean RIGHT next to us, it appeared.
A humpback.
And who had her smart phone’s video camera on?
Cathy.
These stills are taken from her video. Imagine seeing these unfold immediately after hearing the sound of her spouting.
Me? I was so excited I couldn’t get my damn phone to work. I did manage to shoot one still photo as it slipped back beneath and never reemerged.
We have been lucky on this trip. Extraordinarily lucky. The weather. Our room. Avoiding arrest. (It was only later that night that we learned, because a storm was approaching, that our luck would soon change and we would be forced to skip the granddaddy glacier of them all, Endicott.)
But at that moment, the moment a humpback whale surfaced and blew air from his spout not twenty yards away from us, the moment I looked over to see a tear running down the cheek of my wife, the woman who loves all animals, it was at that moment I knew just what a charmed life I live.
I am such a lucky man.
"Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost" 